


Supposed To Be Here

by twisting_vine_x



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Loneliness, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Oikawa!POV, first year of post-secondary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 09:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twisting_vine_x/pseuds/twisting_vine_x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Hajime’s flight gets messed up, and Oikawa ends up alone and miserable on New Year’s Eve. </p><p>
  <i>He’d had to stay for new year’s, to take advantage of the quiet library, to curl up and study as much as he could, because – he can’t flunk out. What would he do if he does? He worked so hard to just get here.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>His family had understood. Had commended him, even.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Iwa-chan had just listened to him babble – quiet and steady, on the other end of the phone, while Oikawa’s voice just kept on breaking – and then calmly asked if he could come visit for new year’s.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>And if Oikawa’s yes had cracked into tears, nobody else but the two of them ever needs to know.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Supposed To Be Here

“This is stupid.”

He can hear the sulk in his voice. He doesn’t much care, though. They should have never gone to separate schools. Whose stupid idea was that?

Oh, right. Iwa-chan’s. In the interest of _not letting their relationship hold them back from their academic dreams,_ or some such rot. It had been a bad idea at the time, and it’s a worse idea now.

“Stupid.”

Oikawa’s ceiling is boring. It’s white, and he’s already counted all the marks on it. Twice.

By rights, he should be out partying it up. He has friends. Of course he does. If there’s one thing that he knows how to do, it’s to make himself appealing to people, even if they don’t quite get why. He’s certainly had a few of his new acquaintances marvel at how… unique he is, and then frown, like they’re trying to figure out why they’re even hanging out with him in the first place.

They are, though. Because Oikawa knows how to make friends. He even genuinely likes a couple of them, even if they don’t in any way compare to being with the team back home.

He doesn’t want to be around any of them, though.

“You… you were supposed to be here.”

He makes his stomach hurt, just saying it.

It’s 2 am. New Year’s has long since come and gone, for all that his res is still wide awake, and for all that he can still hear the revelry going on in the halls. And here he is, lying on his bed and staring at his ceiling.

Iwa-chan was supposed to be here.

They haven’t seen each other since the end of September, and he was supposed to come for New Year’s. Then his flight got fucked up, and Oikawa has _never_ hated planes as much as he does right now.

“Stupid.”

He feels his teeth grit, as he says it. And he only takes a moment to be supremely _pissed off_ by the tears leaking out of his eyes – sliding down the sides of his cheeks – before he rolls onto his stomach and wraps his arms around his pillow, burying his face in it and curling up in a ball.

_I miss you. I miss you so much._

He does. He _really_ does.

And, alright, objectively, he gets why they’re at different schools. He even agrees with it, however grudgingly. They needed to go to the programs that would be best for them. He truly does get that.

He just _hates_ it.

It’s been six hours since Iwa-chan called him from the airport, apology written through every inch of his exhausted voice; and he’d sounded incredibly frustrated, too; but the fact that Oikawa’s not the only one who’s angry hadn’t brought him any kind of miserable comfort. There’s no commiseration to be found here. There’s nothing but Iwa-chan being _so_ far away.

And the simple truth is that anything that makes Iwa-chan sad is just awful, period. He _hates_ it when Iwa-chan’s sad. Oikawa would rather be sad, himself, than ever have Iwa-chan be sad about anything.

And here they are. Both miserable, and with so much distance still in between them.

And it’s just… he’s never been without Iwa-chan. Ever since they were kids. He’s not _used_ to this. He’s not sure if he ever could be.

And it’s… it’s just been a long three months. Their first term apart had been bad enough, but this one has been even worse. He’s not sure how this whole long-distance thing is supposed to work – surely the sting must eventually lessen, even just a bit? – but, instead, being apart just keeps getting harder.

 _Shit,_ he should have gone home for New Year’s. He should have _never_ stayed on campus. He’d just… he’d bombed a test, and… and the panic, sitting under his skin, after that – he’d _had_ to stay, to take advantage of the quiet library, to curl up and study as if that could make up for it, because – he _can’t_ flunk out. What would he do if he does? He worked _so_ hard to just get in here.

His family had understood. Had commended him, even.

Iwa-chan had just listened to him babble – quiet and steady, on the other end of the phone, while Oikawa’s voice just kept on breaking – and then calmly asked if he could come visit for new year’s.

And if Oikawa’s _yes_ had cracked into tears, nobody else but the two of them ever needs to know.

It’s just… it’s been a _really_ long three months.

And, now, Iwa-chan’s still not here. Because of some _stupid_ problem with the flight, or the plane, or – or _something_ , and –

“I _hate_ this.”

It’s such a snarl he almost shocks himself with it; and then he grits his teeth and sits up, swinging his legs over the bed and getting to his feet, though he doesn’t exactly feel all that steady. He can’t stay here. He can’t just lie here. He needs to get out.

Why had they ever agreed to go to different schools?

\- - -

He wanders for about two hours. It’s cold. Not colder than he can deal with, but cold enough. He should have brought a jacket. Hell, it’s just past 4 am. He shouldn’t be out here at all. He should be back in his damn bed.

He walks until he’s exhausted, though. Maybe he’ll be tired enough to sleep. His thoughts are certainly fuzzy by the time he gets back to res, letting himself in and climbing the steps to his floor. He just needs to sleep. He can deal with how lost he is in the morning. He just needs to –

Iwa-chan’s asleep in front of his bedroom door. Sitting on the floor, leaning against the door, his eyes closed, and a backpack beside him.

For a long moment, Oikawa can’t move at all. It’s like everything inside him is shutting down.

Then, he kneels down in front of Iwa-chan, and carefully takes his hands. It only takes a few seconds for Iwa-chan to blink himself awake, before his face pulls into an unhappy little frown, his eyebrows pulling tight together, and the edges of his mouth turning down.

“Idiot. Who goes for a walk at 4 am and forgets their phone?”

His fingers are tight, where they're wrapped around Oikawa’s. And Oikawa’s throat is closing up.

Is this… is he dreaming?

“One of the students let me in. Told me he saw you leave. What were you possibly –”

“Iwa-chan?”

His voice cracks, on it.

He’s not going to cry. He’s _not_ going to –

Then, Iwa-chan’s eyes soften, and Oikawa feels like something inside him is cracking open.

He can’t deal with Iwa-chan looking at him like that. He’s never been able to deal with it.

And when Iwa-chan tries to tug him to his feet, Oikawa only realizes that he’s moving when he’s already shaking his head and trying to fold forward, wrapping his arms around Iwa-chan’s shoulders and holding on, and… and then Iwa-chan’s swallowing and pulling him in closer, too, his arms tight around him, and his face ending up against the side of Oikawa’s neck.

“Idiot.”

It sounds more fond, than anything else, now. And Oikawa squeezes his eyes shut.

“I – I –”

He can’t, though. His throat’s too tight.

_I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much._

Then, Iwa-chan sighs, soft and maybe a little shaky, his arms tightening even further around him.

“I know, Oikawa. I missed you, too.”

It’s barely a whisper, and Oikawa just holds on tighter, until Iwa-chan swallows and stands up, tugging Oikawa up with him and giving him one of those rare little smiles that makes Oikawa’s heart feel too big for his chest.

“Come on, then. Let’s get you warmed up, and –”

“How… how did you…”

“They got me on another plane. I – I would have called, but there wasn’t time to –”

Oikawa just shakes his head, and tightens his grip on Iwa-chan’s hands.

Doesn’t matter. He’s here now.

And Iwa-chan’s still smiling, a bit, when Oikawa looks up from his hands.

“Idiot. Your hands really are freezing.”

They are, too. Frozen against Iwa-chan’s warm ones. And Oikawa desperately tries to take a breath, and yank his thoughts together, because his head feels like it’s moving too fast.

“Well, then – then why don’t – you said something about – about warming m-me up, so –”

“You’d have to unlock the door first, you know.”

He’s still smiling, but there’s a tiny little hint of teasing there, now, too; and Oikawa stares at him – takes in every well-loved line of his face – and then curls in to press his face against his neck; because his heart feels like it’s going to break through his ribs, and he needs to hide for a second.

“Meanie.”

It’s barely audible, with the way his face is squished against Iwa-chan’s neck, but it makes Iwa-chan sigh, even as his arms come up to wrap around Oikawa, again, tugging him even closer.

“Oh, _right,_ I’m just _so_ –”

“Been – been here for two minutes, Iwa-chan, and… and you’re already calling me _names,_ and _teasing_ me, and –”

“Next time I’m gonna just leave you alone to suffer.”

It’s a grumble, now, but there’s no heat to it. Especially with the smile that Oikawa can still hear, and with how tight Iwa-chan’s arms are wrapped around him, cradling him close.

And Oikawa’s back to feeling like his heart is too big for his chest.

_I love you. I love you I love you I love you._

It’s all he can do to suck in a breath and turn to press his lips against Iwa-chan’s neck, his legs gone a bit rubbery underneath him, and his voice coming out cracked and stupid.

“Thank you.”

_For being here. For putting up with me. For everything you’ve ever done for me._

And the flash of embarrassment fades when Iwa-chan stills, and then swallows, pressing his face deeper into Oikawa’s shoulder; and Iwa-chan’s murmured little _always_ is so quiet Oikawa almost misses it; but he _does_ hear it, and then it’s his turn to tighten his arms, because… he knows what it does to Iwa-chan, to be honest, like this. Iwa-chan’s never done well with vulnerability, either, and it’s taken them so long to reach this point.

They have, though. And Oikawa just holds onto to him, for a bit longer, until Iwa-chan finally sighs and pulls away; and his face is so adorably flushed Oikawa can barely even deal with it.

He doesn’t say a word, though. Just ducks in to kiss him – and he knows his lips must be cold, but Iwa-chan swallows and leans in to it, soft and sweet and careful, barely just a hint of gentle pressure before they pull apart again – and if Oikawa’s hands are shaky when he goes to fumble out his keys, at least, right now, it’s only for good reasons. He’s pretty sure that being around Iwa-chan is always going to make him shaky.

That’s okay, though. Because Iwa-chan wants him, too, and he’s here, finally standing in Oikawa’s res, and… for however long he stays, Oikawa’s not going to waste a second of it.

They’ll have to say goodbye again. They always do.

But right now, though, he’s got Iwa-chan tugging him back into his arms as they steps inside the room, closing the door behind them and pulling Oikawa close, wrapping up around him in the dark, like he can't stand to be apart from him for another second longer; and Oikawa’s pretty sure that, for as long as it takes, for however many times they have to be apart, they're always going to keep coming home to each other.


End file.
